Well, it's been a shorter journey than we hoped for, but all the same, we're glad we had a little chance to walk down the road of life with our little one. Now, in heaven, he/she's stretched beyond what our imaginations can comprehend.
I woke up this morning telling Brad that it kinda feels like when someone you really loved breaks up with you. It's not only an immediate loss of the relationship you currently had, it's also a loss of the potential you saw for your future together. You remain the same person, but the journey your life will take is suddenly so different from what you had dreamt before that moment happens. It's time to look at your priorities, it's time to lean on those you love, it's time to cocoon up a little bit and take care of yourself for a while - and then it's time to see where God has plans to take you next.
You love what you lost, and you cherish all of the memories that were made (and with Stretch, there were memories made, watching or hearing people's reactions to the news, the jokes about sleeping, the changes in my body), but you also miss the new memories that won't get made, while also knowing that there is something else out there in our journey together. I am so grateful for Brad beside me and for the people who are already surrounding us with prayers, love and hugs and for the peace that God gives, that truly does surpass understanding. Thank you, all.
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4 comments:
Words are so limited, yet your articulation speaks volumes. Little ones are precious, no what age. Thanks for allowing us to walk with you in this journey. May God lead us all.
We're so grateful to have you walk beside us in this. People have expressed gratitude in our letting people in and sharing this part of life with them. That's taught me something about friendship I don't think I could have learned any other way...
Let me weigh in too, to say, thank you for inviting me to this blog, for sharing this. . .
from Korea, it feels even more virtual than you said it does on your records. Over here, it was a giddy phone call, a few text messages and conversations, and then an e-mail. A few days saying "why the heck am I sad today?. . . oh yeah," and showing my Korean students how to spell miscarriage. Over here, even baby Carrie-Anne is still mostly an idea (heck, I may have even spelled her name wrong!) that I have yet to meet, and idea not-yet-become-flesh (which is an odd tension, because Joon, the main character in the book I've almost completed, is more real to me right now than real baby Carrie-Ann -- I've spent much more time with him, and thinking about him, than Kerri-Annnn. I can't wait to meet Curry-Anne. I wish I could be there in Langley right now to cook you a meal, or make inappropriate jokes, or sit and not say anything for a long time, but be there.
Anyway, it still feels really virtual here, and I've brought that upon myself by choosing to be so far away. By being a worse-than-shabby correspondent. By choosing to be so far away. But it sure is a lot more real to have this blog, so much shorter than expected, to at least participate in this. Thank you for inviting me to be part of this. Thank you thank you thank you thank you.
You're welcome Rob. And, uh, carrie-onn. :-)
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