Happy Birthday to our Wonderful Girl

Dear Aria - you have just turned 7. WOW! It's hard to believe it's been so long since you were born. Life is so different and so the same and so wonderful with you in it. It feels like you have been here forever, and it seems so fast I can't believe you're already 7. You are growing into a wonderful, smart, thoughtful, considerate and creative girl. You are amazing at reading (chapter books, already!! I can hardly believe it), and the pictures you draw are so unique and beautiful. I love that you wear socks that don't match on purpose - it's important to always remember to keep little bits of fun in your life.

Sometimes the world gets hard, and I know that this year has not been the easiest for you. As Julian gets busier we have less time to spend with you, and when I am in school, you have had to be very flexible with going to so many people's houses, and not having me around on Saturdays and with me doing homework and being so tired at nights. It's hard sometimes, but sometimes, little things like wearing silly socks helps make a day a little bit better, and sometimes, that's just what you need.

I want you to know that whether the world is hard, or whether the day is easy, I LOVE YOU. You are my BEST and I hope that we can remember to find the little moments to enjoy each other and share those wonderful hugs. You are so special, and I know that God has some wonderful things planned for you before this year is over - we'll just have to see what they are.

This little video is so much of who you were this year at 6 - with donut pants and polka dot socks dancing around my classroom and making friends with my students. Never lose your joy about life.

I love you SO MUCH!
xo xo xo xo xo xo xo
Mommy.

JJ's ONE!!

 Happy Birthday to our little guy.

From your Big Sister:

Some of the things I remember about the year when you were zero are the day before your birthday we went to the waterslides. One your one year old day, I was like "WHAAAT? It's his Birthday?".

The first time I met you I really wanted you to actually be a girl, but now I realize it's not too bad to have a boy in our house either. When you were first sitting down I was super concerned because I thought he was going to fall down, and a few times I was right and a few times I was wrong.

Right now he is good at crawling, standing, picking up things and opening drawers. He just needs to learn how to walk.

I think my brother is so adorable, 'cause sometimes he has cake all over his body ... he he he.

  This photo was taken of JJ by his big sister on his birthday!

From Mommy:
JJ - I love you so much. It's hard to believe it's been a year since you were born. I've been so blessed to know you and to love you - you have brought joy and laughter and so many diaper back into my life. You were a surprise, but a blessed surprise, and we are so glad to have you in our lives.

Some of my best memories of you from right now are the way that you smile at us when you see us come into your room as you are waking up. I love the way you dig right into playing with your toys when you go into the playpen, and the way you get so excited when you go outside. You are learning how to use bottles, which certainly makes my life easier, and crawl around the apartment like a pro. Your favourite place is playing in the bath and anything to do with water, and everytime there's music on, you dance around, bouncing on your legs, shaking your head back and forth and smiling like crazy. Sometimes you even try to sing along.

You have said "Hi" and "Dada" and "mom" but nothing is really sticking yet, and you love your sister to BITS! Even though she drags you all over the place, whether you want to go or not.

You spent your first year being dragged back and forth to kindergarten every day for drop off and pick up, and the kids in the class LOVED taking turns holding you. They learned how to protect your neck (sort of) when you were little, and how to keep you from squirming away when you got bigger. They all loved you so much, and you loved being with all of them.

You are a happy kid who loves playing on your own and doesn't cry unless you have a reason. If you're not hungry, tired or missing your family, you're good to go, which is such a blessing.

You still wake up once a night most nights, and I certainly will be happy when THAT habit is over with, but I'm enjoying our midnight (or 5am) cuddles nonetheless.

JJ - you are a blessing and a treasure and I regularly look at you with such gratitude to God that He gave us such a great little boy to live in our lives and be part of our family. My prayer for you is that you will grow up to love God and learn to explore the passions and desires that God has placed in you already.

I love you deeply and will love you forever.
Mom

Some Recent Creativity

Here's some pictures Aria has drawn - it's so cool to see her development! She just learned to write her full name this week (the "R" has been her sticking point). No photos of that yet...

 The text here is "This is Jesus, he died on a cross"

A camping trip night - with Daddy reading by flashlight (flash sorta got in the way of the effect)

 She's still quite afraid of the bike - but she sure LOOKS like a big girl!

Aria and one of her favourite playmates!

Life as a journey...

Well, life has been quite the journey this year. I've taken our blog off google's search engines etc so that I can talk to just the people who know us well, or know us through other people we know.

Why? Because we've got some sucky news. From last January to this January, we've lost three babies. It's not something we've told lots of people because it's not something we want to be talking about ALL the time, but it's where our life is at right now, and I want to share with those who still check on us from time to time here.

We've been tested, I've been poked in prodded in all sorts of unique places, and nothing has come back with ANYTHING, I'm normal, which isn't a good thing, because it's not fixable! The first two were Christmas last year (I  got pregnant in December and lost the baby early January - only 5 or 6 weeks along). The second was in the spring - March - May. I was 11 weeks along that time, which was tough. We keep thinking we're in the safe zone (the first miscarriage was at 10 weeks), and then being disappointed. After these most recent two we were able to be referred to the Women's Health Centre because of having 3 miscarriages. It took the rest of the summer and fall to do all the testing and find out there was nothing we could fix. November I got pregnant again, and we went for an ultrasound just before our trip out to Ontario for Christmas. This is what I saw:

It was pretty excited to see that there was a heartbeat, as we had no proof at all with the previous three that there'd ever been a baby (I've never seen a foetus when I've miscarried). She said we were at around 6 weeks and 1 day at that point. We scheduled another ultrasound for the Friday we got home from our trip. I was 9 weeks along when I went for that ultrasound and they couldn't find a heartbeat. The doctor doing the ultrasound put the time our baby stopped growing at 6 weeks and 6 days.

The next Wednesday I went in for a D&C, which I hadn't had before. They're not fun, but there's no part of any sort of miscarriage that is fun. I was glad to KNOW, rather than just waiting and hoping, but it hasn't made things easy, nonetheless. At least now they have a baby they can do testing on, and they can find out if there's genetic (or other) reasons for me not to be able to keep babies past 6 weeks.

Brad & I have decided our next attempt will be our last. We've had our life on hold for quite some time functioning in the "baby stage" kind of from when we started talking about kids (6 years ago or so?), to now. If we KNOW we aren't having another, God is planting in our hearts excitement for what the future could bring with only one little one. The benefits? Less cost, we can stay in our home for longer, we can travel significantly sooner, I can go back to school for my PDP sooner - and we're not in a state of constant waiting.
BUT we would be OVER JOYED if there was a little one to share our life with.
As for adoption, someone who's adopted phrased the question excellently. "Is adoption in your heart?". The answer to that question is no. It's not in our heart. Adoption is excellent, and so valuable, but for Brad & I it's just not in our hearts, so for us it's not an option. There's lots of reasons why it's not an option, but the truth is just that - it's not in our hearts.

The more we continue on this journey, the more thankful and grateful we are for our little girl. She seems to be a real miracle for us. I have appreciated her hugs, cuddles, and statements of love for us. We all love our little family. Who couldn't - look at this little girl, at the height of her 3-year-old-ness.

She is SUCH a blessing to us! And as much as we don't know why God is taking us on this journey, we are thankful, I am thankful that even as I'm writing this I have a little girl cuddled up next to me on the couch, hugging my arm.
Deb

A Sparkly Princess-y Evening

A trip to the mall
A trip to our church (My church got dressed up!)
A trip to friend's houses (where she GAVE candy as well as got it).

All in all a good evening for ARIA!

Ode to the Apostrophe

Very few of you will appreciate that title - but those of you who do...ohhhh yeaaaaaa

So, today Aria had to pee, and we're working on her going all by herself, but she was being hesitant. I asked:

D: Do you need Mommy's help?
A: No, say "do you need momma help?"
D: (refusing to encourage bad grammar) Do you need Mommy's help?
A: No, say "do you need mommy help?"
D: Repeated myself
A: No, just one mommy...

I then proceeded to explain about apostrophe's and how I the "S" had an apostrophe that meant help BELONGING TO Mommy, not that there are two mommy's - BUT I don't think she got it...

Oh, Apostrophe, how you baffle three-year-olds.



The photos below aren't great, but they show that Aria is learning facial expressions, this was me saying, "be silly, be angry, be tired, be happy" etc...she's pretty good, in my opinion...

Time for Some Pictures

We discovered a really great playground in walking distance from our house. Aria is never super-eager to go there, but then never wants to leave. (Actually, she has a similar thing going on that I had when I was a kid: she doesn't like to change states. She doesn't like to have a bath, but once in it, doesn't want to get out. I was exactly the same way. I don't understand it, but I get it. Naming it that way helped her Mom get what's going on, too.)

This is a really great time in our lives together. Really, really great. Some of her perceptions are so much deeper than her 3 years, and then the next thing she says is the epitome of being a kid. When she's saying something, she strives so hard to be understood, and she won't rest until she is, even if that means she needs to bend our own meanings to get there.

A Vector Has Both Direction and Magnitude

We recently tried to go to Chapters, one of Aria's favourite places to be, but she was having a very whiny day, and just as we were getting there it escalated to the point where we decided (with a warning and an ultimatum) that we were not going there after all. Everyone in the parking lot (if not the city!) was made aware of her despondent disappointment.

Because we're such good parents, we recognised that part of her emotional condition was probably due to hunger, a diagnosis she didn't seem to instantly agree with. We couldn't reason with her, so we decided a new tack: give her the opportunity to express an opinion. When we asked her where she wanted to go to eat, she said in her most forlorn, chin-on-chest tone: "A coffee shop."

That kind of took me back. "A coffee shop!? What kind of coffee shop?"

She answered, still in the same woe-is-me voice: "The kind of coffee shop that has a Chapters next to it."

Easter Kisses From Aria Take II

Some of you may remember this from two years ago. Here we are with a repeat at three.

She's certainly growing up!!

Happy Easter to All Of You, from All of Us!!

Deb, Brad & Aria

My Special Girl...

Brad has previously explained the game he plays with Aria:
B: Are you my couch?
A: No
B: Are you my television?
A: No
B: Well, what are you then?
A: I'm your spessial girl!!

Well, she's started not answering with that any more - and it's becoming quite funny the twists she's put on this one recently.

As a side note: We've started playing card games with Aria.

B: Aria, Are you my ceiling fan?
A: Go Fish.

Here's some pictures from our recent engagement session with Aria's aunt & soon-to-be Uncle.

Well, She's Got the Principles Down

At the point of leaving, someone specifically thanked Aria for having them over. I asked Aria "What do you say?" She shyly turned her big eyes to me, obviously in over her depth, and said:

"Do I say 'congratulations'?"

Reasoning with a Three-Year-Old

Aria wants to wear a dress to church that encourages people to give us all their old 80's flowered dresses. Their reasoning, "It's not really my kid's style, but I see that Aria likes this type of dress". GREAT - just what I want.

SO...we're working on putting her in really cute clothes for church on Sundays.

Today, she's quite sure that she wants to wear a dress from MY childhood to church - that's right - good old 80's again. So, I told her that if she can give me a good reason (rather than crying), then she could wear her dress. Here's the conversation that ensued:

A: I want to wear my dress.
D: Why?
A: Because I want to.
D: That's not a reason, why do you want to?
A: because
D: That's not a reason
A: Yes it is a reason.
D: No it's not - why do you want to?
A: Because...

and on went the circular conversation.

which ended with:
D: I will let you wear your dress IF you have a good reason, and "because" and "I want to" are not good enough reasons.
A: Ok. I'm going to colour.

And she goes and grabs what she thought was a pen, but was actually a flashlight.

A: This isn't a pen!
D: Nope, it's a flashlight
A: Oh - it's broken.
D: That's right, there's no batteries.
A: Oh, why not?
D: because they're in your camera so you can take pictures.
A: Oh, I want my camera to be broken.
D: No, that wouldn't be good.
A: Yes, it would be good.
D: No, it wouldn't.
A: I want my camera to be broken so my flashlight will be fixed.
D: Oh...well, that's a good reason.
A: THAT'S why I want to wear my dress.

Because of these conversations, she's started leaving the room saying in a sing-songy voice:
A: Bye bye, it was nice to meet you. Have a good REASON!!

I Swear This Isn't an April Fool's Joke

Oh snap! I so got you. You thought I wasn't going to do an April Fool's joke. I even said it in the title of this post. But then I did it anyway. I wrote a blog post that's an April Fool's joke about not doing an April Fool's joke that's a post right on my blog. And you were totally taken in! Oh man, I wish you could see the look on your face!

Little Miss Manners

We're working on the niceties of life with our daughter. She's not even three, and she's started to ask politely for things the first time, to apologise when there's some kind of contravention, and to excuse herself about bodily functions. After supper tonight, she emitted a cute little belch, and started to laugh about it.

In my stern fatherly voice, I said: "What do you say?"

She paused, her eyes sparkled, and in a long, growlly fake-burp, she said "Exxcuuusse mmeee."

Aria's First Nap & Curb Jumping

Right now Aria's napping in her "Big Girl Bed" for the very first time. In her pink room. In what was formerly our never used office / throw the junk in there when people visit. Her room is so sweet - the rest of our house is full of stuff that came out of that room.
*sigh* we've still got our work cut our for us, but she LOVES her new room. She calls it her castle.

PS: Aria also jumped up onto a curb by herself for the first time ever today. Pretty amazing.