Well, we're now in the hoping and praying category. Things have been going better for me this time around than last time, I'm "feeling" a little more sick and squishy (but is that because of the pregnancy, or because of hoping that I'm feeling it?) and there's been way less spotting (which I KNOW is a good sign), but there's still this part of me that finds this hard to believe and hard to hope for. I have to keep reminding myself that it's ok to get hurt, and it's better to hope and love and anticipate than to be cynical and closed off and then regret things if this baby does go and I've never had a chance to love it.
At the same time, we desperately want to tell some people so we have people praying for us, but we're also a little more hesitant to share our news - it's not news that ONLY full of excitement, there's a very big lining of fear this time around. Yes, we were aware of what COULD happen last time, but all of our nievity is gone now, and the fear remains.
We do know that God is in control and that he will take care of both us and our little one, BUT that doesn't make this the easiest journey to go on, regardless. God knows what He's doing, and I don't doubt that, but He hasn't let us know, and THAT is where the fear comes in. So...when you read this, start hoping and praying, but don't feel bad if there's a little bit more fear and a little bit less excitement than there was the last time...
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